Humanity: the default destiny

Why do so many people feel so alienated from the rest of humanity despite tools like the internet, social media, and telecommunications which make it easier to connect to people globally?

Considering all the means of getting to know others better, why is there still so much hate, fear, and suspicion?

It’s as if we are trapped and forced into hating each other. At the same time, it feels like everyone is under tremendous pressure from some untouchable force to dream up and strive towards self serving perverted fantasies.  Most of us don’t even take out the time to reflect on what it is we truly want for ourselves in life, and so we accept whatever is shoved down our minds by others as our own destiny.

We are usually moulded into the standard/default “destiny” through television. And television or media is of course the god of our era; as if wearing a designer suit in front of an expensive camera is all it takes to be credible.  The words and images streaming out of these wavelengths are taken as holy scripture that no one can and should debate.  The networks and shows become the standard against which everything else is measured and judged.

Movies and other forms of “entertainment” keep telling us to fear and hate certain types of people.  The mind games get more interesting as some types of people are put on a pedestal.  Such people usually comprise of those who have sold their souls, those who are lost and have moved away or have deliberately severed ties with the Divine; the Source of all that is.  Repeatedly told to identify with our physical bodies and life circumstances, we almost completely forget that our bodies are just vehicles to experience the physical world, and the real us is the spirit, the intangible awareness that resides within.

It took me a long time to realize that networks and television shows are simply designed and maintained by people like the rest of us.  It is simply people with a vision and the necessary developed leadership skills who have placed themselves in front of the world, and in all honesty, are at our mercy.

But we don’t take control of our own destiny.  Instead, we wait.  Generation after generation, we look to our parents, our teachers, our religious leaders, and other mentors and persons of authority to allow us to love others the way we our innermost being craves.  I was and still am to a degree stuck in a hypnotic trance, unwilling to look past the programming.

And yet, there is something in all of us, regardless of our creed and culture, that makes us yearn to connect to others at a deeper level.  There is something in all of us that pleads with our false sense of self to let go and just merge with the rest of humanity.  Something inside all of us deeply desires to drop the shields on our fabricated and artificial public identity.

For now, I pray: May God bless all humanity with the insight to turn to each other and recognize that inside each body, inside each mind, and underneath the layers of beliefs and emotions, radiates the Divine spark.  May the Source of all that is fill us all with His infinite light.  Amen.

A Muslim’s first visit to a synagogue

My foot on the gas pedal, I looked at the GPS on my phone and then glanced at the clock.  Please God, let me make it in time!  I had left a little past 7pm for the Shabbat service at 8pm, 40km away.  It was a Friday night, but I was confident that rush hour would have died down by this time.  It was my lucky night, as I easily weaved through the traffic, changing lanes and highway ramps.

As I turned on to Wilson avenue, I soon saw the rectangular sign that read “Temple Sinai.”  Turning into the parking lot, I saw Rev. Cheryl sitting on a bench by the temple entrance.  She gazed towards the stream of cars coming in, and waved once she spotted me driving in.  I was glad she decided to join me.  I had received her email a week before the scheduled visit.  She expressed how she wanted to accompany me to the Shabbat service, and I gladly agreed to have her on board.

As I walked through the entrance with Rev Cheryl, I noticed the wooden panels lining the hallway, and the mostly elderly congregation walking towards an open door.  Feeling a little apprehensive about walking into the prayer sanctuary, I braced myself for questions and stares.  After all, it was my first time here, and most of the congregants were regulars.  But to my surprise, I was greeted just like everyone else before me, with a “Shabbat Shalom,” and a book containing the night’s prayers.  I was a bit puzzled.  Did the gentleman and lady at the door not wonder what I was doing here?  Did they think I was part of the congregation? Did it matter to them that I was a non-Jew sitting through their service?

The reverend and I walked in and sat ourselves in one of the back pews.  It was a large auditorium with very high ceilings.  To my right were beautiful glass mosaic windows from the ceiling to the floor.  There were several pews for worshippers, all containing copies of the Torah in the pockets that lined the backs of the benches.  On the left side of the room, I saw a large piano.  There was a big stage area facing all congregants with two podiums with a colorful mural between the two.  Below them was another podium with one of three candles lit.  It was such a beautiful prayer hall, that I hoped to get a photograph of it for memory.  But since I was a guest, I wasn’t sure if it would be allowed.

I walked up to the lady greeting everyone at the door once more, and told her that I was visiting the synagogue, that I had spoken with Rabbi Emanuel over the phone and emails about coming here for my interfaith blog.  To my surprise again, she didn’t change her behavior with me.  She simply welcomed me, but told me that I should’t do any photography at this time as service was about to begin.  I respectfully agreed and asked her the name of the rabbi leading the night’s service.  Rabbi Michael Dolgin would be leading.  I decided to wait till the end of the service to introduce myself to him. I had no idea what he looked like.

As I sat back down, I looked around at the people sitting and those coming in.  Almost everyone was elderly or at least in their 50’s.  Nobody cared to stare at me or the reverend that night.  I’m so used to being stared at in mosques, that it felt a bit strange to be left alone for a change.  Nobody stared at anyone for that matter.  Nobody cared to examine what other people were wearing.  People either sat down quietly, or greeted their loved ones and friends with great warmth and joy.

It felt a little strange to feel more comfortable and ease at a synagogue that I do at most mosques.  There was definitely a great energy of companionship and brotherhood/sisterhood at Temple Sinai.  It seemed like everyone was part of a machine, doing their parts in harmony with others.  It felt good to be sitting among such a strong community.

There was another surprising aspect about the sanctuary.  As I paid attention to the glass mosaics lining the wall, I noticed that some of the mosaics were actually depicting people.  Although the people were devoid of facial features and expressions, I was still surprised at the fact that there were pictures of people inside the prayer sanctuary.  I was always under the impression that Jews never kept any pictures in their spaces of worship.  Perhaps there are some major differences in how reform Jews worshipped and interpreted their faith compared to Orthodox or Conservative Jews.  I decided to ask about the mosaics once I met the rabbi.

As the service began, I noticed that Rev. Cheryl often joined in, singing the Hebrew prayers with the congregation. A man sat at the grand piano, playing a soft melody to accompany the hymn.  To my surprise, Rev. Cheryl told me that she often worshipped at synagogues. At church, she had to both work and worship, while at the synagogue, she just worshipped.  She explained that she often sat through services in synagogues in her area.  Wow! I didn’t even know how to respond to that.  It seems to me that she obviously was able to transcend her creed, and saw it completely normal to bond with God in prayer through another faith community.  I hoped that some day I could be as strong as her.  Perhaps coming in tonight was a start for me.

I tried following the translations included in the prayer booklet.  One of the lovely prayers said that night was the following:

God fills the heavens and the foundations of the earth, but divine glory is greater than the skies, a surpassing, palpable strength.  Our God is near at all places and times – a true commanding presence.  Nothing exists apart from God.  As it is written in Torah, “When you return to your heart of hearts, on that day you will know that the Eternal is God.  Nothing in heaven or on earth exists apart from God.”

On the margins of a page in the prayer booklet, I found another interesting quote.  It made me smile, because it is something all Muslims are also taught from a young age:

This phrase, “we kneel and bow” recalls what Mordechai refused to do before Haman (Esther 3:2).  The presence of these words in this prayer reminds us that as Jews, we serve only the Most High, not the most recent or the most popular.

I got up and sat down, following the cues from the rabbi, just like the congregation.  As the rabbi said prayers, he sometimes would bow his head in some sort of bouncing motion and continue with the prayers.  Although most prayers were in Hebrew (with English translations in the booklet), there were a few in English.  Many of the prayers were sung by a man and a woman at the stage.  There was also lighting of the candles, and within about forty five minutes, the service came to a conclusion.

Rabbi Dolgin told the congregation to head out of the sanctuary towards another room, where there was a special treat for everyone: a symphony concert.  As people streamed out, the reverend and I stayed back to introduce ourselves to the rabbi.  He smiled, welcoming us while shaking our hands.  The lady who sang during the service was next to him and also welcomed us.  She asked if I had any questions so far, and I used the opportunity to ask about the people depicted in the windows.  The rabbi explained that the people did not have any distinct features, which still made it within the boundaries of Jewish tradition.

We headed to a room with chairs arranged in a circular format.  The symphony orchestra contained four individuals and played mostly pieces from the 1920s.  It was really wonderful to experience live symphony music, as I had never before done so.  Following the music, the rabbi invited everyone to go into another hall where we could help ourselves to complimentary coffee and cookies.

After having a few cookies, I decided to head out, as it was past 10 at night.  I looked around to see if I could find the rabbi to say goodbye, but could not locate him.  I could see that many people at the temple were busy that night due to organizing and running the concert. I did not want to bother him, so I simply headed home.

What I took with me that night, was a greater appreciation of the Jewish faith.  And although I knew Jews were monotheists, actually being there for the prayers only confirmed the fact that we are indeed brothers and sisters in faith.

near death experiences: lessons and revelations

Once in a while, God sends things our way that change us forever.

The book The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot was one of those special divine gifts sent my way.  It greatly expanded my understanding of God, life, and death.  One of the concepts the author touched upon, was near death experiences or NDEs. NDEs are accounts of people who either “flatlined” at the hospital and were revived, or were at the brink of death, and had vivid, otherworldly, out of body experiences which they were able to share once conscious.  Most people report initially finding themselves inside a vibrating tunnel with a vibrant light at the end, sometimes also being aware of angelic presences around them. Curious, I searched youtube to see if I could find authentic accounts of near death experiences, and what commonalities they held.

What I discovered, changed me forever!

I distinctly remember watching an ordinary woman’s personal NDE, who retold her experience of being in the presence of God. Through her testimony, I was met with two surprises that revolutionized how I approached God and earthly life:

1. The woman described feeling completely loved and accepted by God.
2. The woman had the sense that everything on Earth was happening exactly the way it should be, and that everything was perfectly unravelling

So what’s so revolutionary about her experience, when God has revealed over and over that He is the Most Compassionate and Most Merciful, and that nothing in the heavens nor the earth happens without His knowledge/permission? The answer is that at that time, before being exposed to NDEs, I was under the impression that:

1. Muslims had pretty much exclusive rights to God and heaven
2. Human affairs are in shambles, and that is very upsetting to God

The undeniable fact of God’s limitless mercy had previously been overshadowed by my latent arrogance, which was greatly disturbing.  There is no going around the terrible truth that most contemporary prominent religious teachers/guides from the major world religions, teach their communities to worship a sectarian God Who favors their particular faith community over all others.  Even though everyone testifies to God’s infinite mercy and compassion, few are spiritually enlightened enough to realize and express what Dr. PMH Atwater (who exprienced 3 NDEs in her lifetime) stated, “God is not a member of any church or religion. It is the churches and the religions that are members within the vastness and the glory that is God.”

“Life reviews” are another awe-inspiring aspect of many near death experiences.  The life review is usually initiated by an angel, who communicates telepathically to the individual, hence removing any chance of misunderstanding.  People who had detailed near death experiences describe life reviews as instantaneous, and yet filled with minute details from all moments of your life.

One man who went through an NDE described the life review moments from when he was eight years old. He was mowing the grass, and from the life review perspective, could count all the mosquitos and use his senses to gain much more knowledge about his past experiences than he had did at that time.  He described how he not only saw everything from his past in vivid detail, but also felt all his emotions and sensed all his thoughts at that time.  The life review gets even more amazing, as he was able to feel what others around him felt as a result of his actions throughout his life.  He was able to pick up each thought and emotion from everyone he ever touched, whether he had realized at that moment in his life or not.  Other people also mentioned that they were shown the ripple effects of their actions to a certain degree.  These accounts reminded me of the Quranic verse:

And the book is placed, and thou seest the guilty fearful of that which is therein and they say: What kind of a book is this that leaveth not a small thing nor a great thing but hath counted it! And they find all that they did confronting them, and Lord wrongeth no one.” Quran 18: 49

The life review aspect gets weirder and weirder, as people explain that not only do you feel what other people felt from your words and actions, but also the responses of plants and animals.  One man talked about how as a child he had once looked admiringly at a plant, and in his life review, he felt the love and appreciation radiating from the plant towards him!  He never realized until then that plants can read our emotions, intentions, and thoughts.

Reading and watching multiple NDE accounts, I realized something very important: our purpose in life is to be the most loving, caring, and forgiving person we can be, because after death, we will experience our deeds, not from our own perspective, but from the perspective of those whom we affected.  Even the smallest acts of kindness and cruelty can make a deep impact on life around us.

People who have had even deeper near death experiences, where they toured heavenly realms, also expressed their surprise at seeing individuals from various faith groups residing in heaven.  They discovered that God does not care so much what religion we are, or even if we are part of a religion, but whether we use our religious/spiritual understanding to become a better, more compassionate, and whole person.  Many mentioned that although religion is not a prerequisite for entering heaven, it was certainly beneficial, if the person practiced their religion to the best of their ability, since religious practices are there to help us grow spiritually.

Reading the NDE accounts significantly changed how I view God and the afterlife.  They actually brought me closer to God and my faith, in a way that made me much more open towards others with differing beliefs.  If there’s one thing NDEs have taught me, it is that God does not hold grudges, God does not have “beef” with anyone, and God is not angry.  In fact, God is the Most Merciful and the Most Compassionate.

Perhaps the greatest service NDE accounts did for me, was to demystify death. I was quite terrified of dying before, because I didn’t know what would happen to my essence once my body shut down.  Would God be angry with me because I committed so many sins?  But the NDEs are a sign of great hope.  How merciful is our Lord, that He sends some people back from the brink of death with His messages. Through the people who experience NDEs, God tells us that we should not have any fear, that He is indeed a loving God, and that we should all do our best to grow closer to Him by being good to each other in this life.

mystics: lost in translation

We often think of ourselves as our bodies.  The “I” is the one that speaks through the lips, that looks with the two eyes, smells with the nose, feels with the touch, and tastes with the tongue.  Most of us, despite believing in God and scripture, believe that the only way we can experience God directly is after death.  We believe that the heavenly realms are only for the eyes of those dead, no longer with us, who are unable to share their experience with us.

But if you dig a little deeper, you will find, that each faith tradition has a small band of people known as “mystics.” These people report having extraordinary experiences with God, and some of them even visit heavenly realms.  Their visitations and experiences are not bodily, but rather psychic or spiritual, and yet they have vivid recollections of their experiences. Mystics are able to use their senses during their experiences without their physical bodies, and surprisingly describe their senses as much more heightened than in their physical existence on Earth.  It is almost as if they are experiencing some sort of hyper-reality.

Another interesting point to note is that all mystics, regardless of faith tradition or spiritual beliefs report very similar experiences and discover the same “ultimate” truth: God is the only reality & God is unconditional love.

Despite their enlightened insights, many mystics face opposition from their traditional brethren when they utter words the traditional/mainstream community finds problematic with their established understanding of faith and God.

There are several examples of mystics who faced the wrath of their fellow co-religionists by sharing their mystical insights.  Here are a few from the Abrahamic faiths:

Rabbe Nachman is a well known (Hasidic) Jewish mystic from the mid to late 1700s till early 1800s.  One of his ideas I really liked is that every person should spend an hour alone each day talking out loud to God just as one did to a friend.  Although he was respected and followed by many, he nonetheless faced opposition from the orthodox Jews and even from within the Hasidic movement of his times, who saw his ideas as deviating from classical Judaism.

Jakob Bohme is a renowned (Lutheran) Christian mystic from the mid to late 1500s.  He experienced mystical visions that prompted him to write about his new found insights about God.  He found great support amongst his close circle of friends.  But after a copy made it to a pastor, that pastor got infuriated by his claims and had Bohme’s books confiscated and was then banned from writing anymore.  He stayed silent for a few years and then at the persistent encouragement of his close friends, he wrote a few more works, which were eventually discovered by the religious authorities, further enraging them against Bohme, pushing him into exile.  Bohme was more concerned with faith and self-awareness than dogma and scripture.  He presented a fascinating account of God and His power to manifest everything we see and experiences.  It is obvious from some of his works that he struggles at times with using the best language and words to explain what he experienced and understood about God.

The most extreme case of abuse against a mystic has to be the Muslim mystic Mansur al Hallaj (858 -922).  This mystic often expressed his love and understanding of God in unorthodox ways.  Reading about his life, I saw him as a bit eccentric.  It is reported that he once knocked on the door of his mentor, Al-Junaid, and when the mentor asked who was at the door, Al- Hallaj answered, “I am the truth.”  Al Junaid warned him to be discreet with the “secret of God,” and not to disclose it to those who would not understand it.  His followers interpreted his saying as “God has emptied me of everything but Himself.”

Although many admired and followed him, still many could not understand his sayings, and found him dangerous.  Once, when he reached Mecca for pilgrimage, he was turned away by authorities who called him a heretic and a magician.  Strangely, he had pre-cognition of the brutal end to his physical existence, but was not disturbed by it one bit.  In a state of ecstacy, he stated, “I am the truth.” Truth or al-haqq in Arabic, is one of the names of God, which did not sit well with the authorities who interpreted him as claiming to be God, and who at the same time were weary of his growing prominence.  He was executed in a brutal manner.  He was tortured at first as his limbs and facial features were chopped off one by one before he was finally beheaded.  The following day, his remains were burned and the day after, his ashes were scattered in the wind. While he was being tortured, he kept pleading to God to forgive those torturing him, that they did not know what they were doing.

I know that there are several in the Muslim community who consider the sayings and some practices of mystics heretical, and some go as far as considering them outside the boundary of Islam.

After careful analysis of mystics and their sayings, I sincerely believe that the problem lies in the limitations of language.  As humans we are restricted to what a person is saying without access to the person’s mind.  This causes us several problems in every day situations, whereby we routinely misunderstand others, and others misunderstand us.

This problem seems to be amplified when it comes to mystics.  When they share their insights with the world, many misunderstand them because human language is limited to express what can directly be perceived by our physical senses. At the same time, our senses then filter reality according to our past conditionings and subconscious beliefs.  This gives us a very narrow and “processed” understanding of reality, life, and God.

Now imagine if you were somehow able to transcend your conditionings and see the reality with no filters and biases.  What kind of experiences would you have?  You would definitely have different experiences than before.  You would have mystical experiences.

I need answers: the subconscious mind

Why can’t I just be the person I wish to be?  I’m not talking about professions and careers.  I am talking about becoming the “kind” of person I desire to be so much.   What if I wish to become an outgoing extrovert? Or what if I just want to make and keep new friends easily?  How about changing myself to be more assertive and not take crap from others?  Or what if I tend to be too aggressive and I just wish to be calmer around others?

 

Perhaps this wise saying will put in perspective what I am trying to say:

It’s definitely true that we can’t even make ourselves the way we want to be.  But why can’t we be the way we wish to be?

My quest led me to book called The Healing Code by Dr. Alexander Lloyd.  He talks about how before getting married, his wife and him talked about what they each believed to make sure they were compatible and “on the same page.” And interestingly, within a few months after getting married, they came to the brink of divorce.  He explained that whenever anyone talks about what they believe, they are simply referring to their conscious beliefs, which make up barely 10% of their total beliefs.  The majority or 90% or so of all our beliefs are subconscious, and come out through our actions.  Up to 90% of our beliefs are subconscious, meaning below the level where we can easily detect them?  I find that really unfair.  Don’t judge my whining as yet.  You may whine along with me as you keep reading.

There are other interesting scientific facts I learned from Dr. Lloyd, such as everyone in childhood up to a certain age walks around in a hypnotic state, accepting any and all suggestions the people in their environment provide them with.  It obviously becomes much more difficult as adults to accept new ideas that don’t correspond to our acquired earlier experiences.

Also, all “traumatic” childhood occurrences remain in our subconscious, locked in, interestingly from the perspective of the age we experience them.  For example, at age 5, your mom gave out candy to all your siblings except you, because you didn‘t finish your meal. However, as a 5 year old, you interpreted that as “I am unworthy.”  Not only that, but that traumatic memory stays the same throughout your life, affecting all your conscious thoughts and choices, unless somehow you can dig it out and heal it.  It’s not that your mom is a bad person, it’s just that your memory remains stored from the perspective of the 5 year old, and it will shape your identity and sense of self.

Are you serious? Now that’s really unfair!  What about the conscious brain, you say?  The problem is, that if there is a discrepancy between what the subconscious brain believes and what the conscious brain believes,  the subconscious brain ALWAYS wins, because the subconscious is MUCH stronger than the conscious brain.  The subconscious dictates to the conscious brain.  This would explain much about how we often don’t understand why we do the many things we do.

My confusion and hurt only got deeper when I read a book called Physicians of the Heart by Ali, Hyde & Muqaddam.  Imagine that someone were to bring up an incident where you were mistreated, and you either felt like you had forgiven the parties responsible or that you didn’t even remember the incident and felt indifferent to it.  The authors explain that when put under a relaxed hypnotic state, it was discovered that you still carried the hurt, pain, and anger from that incident.  Therefore, conscious forgetting/forgiving does not necessarily equal subconscious forgetting/forgiving.

Now I just want to cry.  Why are we designed like this?

The same authors explained that the human personality is the result of the various interpretations we gave to our experiences in our childhood, particularly early childhood.

Why am I doomed to how I felt as a toddler?

This concept relates to the story in The Healing Code.   Dr. Lloyd tells us of a young woman who grew up in the shadow of her very outgoing and popular older brother.  She always stayed in the background and had a very ordinary life.  In her late teens, she married one of her brother’s friends, had children, and quietly settled into caring for her children.  Then one fateful day, she had a terrible car accident where she almost died. She lost all her memories and even had to be reacquainted with her husband and children.  She started reading up on memory loss and eventually gave public talks about the subject, and became a very sought after person.  So what allowed her to make this dramatic shift all of a sudden?  The answer is that because she had no memories, her subconscious and conscious mind had nothing to point to and say “This is who I am.”

But the question is that do I have to pray for some terrible accident in which I lose my memory to be the kind of person I wish to be, or is there another easier way?

For now, I just keep thinking and keep saying, “It’s not fair, God!  Why can’t we just be who we choose to consciously be? Why must we be enslaved to our childhood memories, most of which we can’t even consciously recall?”

There are many people who are highly temperamental or violent as adults because they suffered abuse as children.  Why must they suffer because as children they interpreted events in a certain way and somewhere deep in their psyche they hold anger and pain towards those people who hurt them?

What do we make of our subconscious mind which is in reality our master, and yet, what it holds, we barely even know.  If you do, please let me know.

A Muslim visits a church “All life depends on all life”

What am I even doing?!  Am I crazy?  I felt a little nervous that morning, as I loaded my kids in the van and headed towards St. Cuthbert’s Anglican church.  I am a practicing Muslim, and I was about to sit through a Sunday service at a church, while my kids would be watched over in a nursery at that church.  Even though it was my own idea to start this interfaith blog, and contact places of worship to visit and get to know some people, I was feeling a little uncomfortable. Why?  Because I had never before been to a church service. “You’re feeling uncomfortable?” I asked myself.  “Good! That means you’re on the right track.”  I realized then that many of my experiences would feel uncomfortable in the beginning because it was a necessary process of familiarizing myself with people and places from different faiths.

I have made this commitment with myself that any time I feel “uncomfortable” with something simply because I know nothing about it or I don’t “feel” like doing something, I have to push myself and do it.  Deliberately putting yourself in uncomfortable and new situations is one of the best techniques for personal growth.  This is what I have come to realize through my various life experiments.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw Rev. Cheryl waiting outside for me.  The church was in a beautiful neighborhood lined with big trees.  I walked in, and was greeted by a young boy who handed us the program for the morning service.  As I walked through the doorway into the church, I looked up at the beautiful wood ceiling.  Rev. Cheryl explained how it was shaped like an upside down ship to symbolize the ship of life.

There were colorful stained glass window mosaics lining opposite sides of the wall.  But surprisingly, they were devoid of any depictions of people and stories. There were a few small framed pictures hanging on the wall of sculptures depicting the Crucifixion.  The walkway had a red carpet running through all the way to the front of the large room.  There was a large red cross placed towards to the top of the wall, so that the people in the pews were facing it.

The Rev led us through another doorway into the lobby.  My kids forgot about their shyness and ran towards a table laden with toy railway tracks and wooden trains.  I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing they would be occupied while I got some work done.  A sweet, young girl would supervise them while I sat through the service.

Back in the prayer room, I sat in one of the pews, my notebook and pen in hand.  I noticed the smiling faces, many looking at me curiously.  I smiled back and stood up and sat down with the congregation, as they chanted prayers from time to time.  Then everyone was told to stand in the walkway in groups according to age, and a large plastic globe was passed down from one end to the other end, the goal being to keep the Earth up and not let it fall.  I really loved the symbolism of the activity.  The theme for this service was “Earth Day.”

I was quite impressed with the fact that the church had separate rooms and activities for young children, so that the ones who were old enough to pray would not be disturbed.  Some children were taken outdoors to collect leaves for Earth Day.  There was a large room with a table holding glasses of apple juice and a plate with strawberry wafers for the children.  My kids got their share too.

There was another large activity room with a long table and small chairs, where the children would work on crafts.  Then there was the nursery room with different toys to play with.  The best part was that there was no extra fee for the nursery, nor the activities that involved the children.

I wish mosque administrations would visit churches to get some inspiration how to design the mosques space and what services to provide worshippers.  I know for a fact how much people at mosques complain about children running through the prayer lines and disturbing the prayers.  I have been to the mosque once in the last four years since my children were born, and the only way I did it was when my children were at a daycare centre not related to any mosque.  I pray that I am alive for the day when I can walk into a mosque that has childcare provided for the mothers and fathers who make the effort to come to mosques with their families.

There were interesting moments during the prayers at church, such as when all of a sudden, everyone opened up what looked like foot rests stored underneath the row of pews in front, and then kneeled on them while grasping their hands in front.  Then there was a moment when everyone turned to those around them, shaking their hands and wishing each other “peace.”  As people came up to me, I quickly reached over, shaking their hand and returning their prayer of peace.  I watched as Father Joe, who led the service, walked down the walkway, shaking people’s hands and wishing them peace.  He came to me, his eyes meeting mine, as he said, “God’s peace,” to me.  I returned his prayers.  Everyone looked so happy and cheerful.  I found myself turning around and shaking hands with more people.

I noticed that everyone at the church was very relaxed and happy.  Even though I was an outsider, I didn’t for a second feel unwelcome or awkward.  Everyone just let me be, and smiled at me from time to time.  Father Joe also came up to me at some point and thanked me for coming in.  It felt great to be acknowledged.

I thought about my experiences at mosques, and the main word that comes to my mind is “serious.” I don’t know why worshippers at mosques are mostly so serious and reserved.  At the church, I felt this incredible energy of acceptance and love.  Why can’t our community at mosques be more laid back like the Christians?  I feel like we are so uptight as a community.  It’s as though we are always looking out for who is breaking what religious rule so we can feel better about ourselves.

There were some really heart warming prayers that the congregation chanted that morning.  I am listing some of my favorites below

1) When I see the heavens, the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars which you arranged, what is man that you should keep him in mind, the son of man that you care for him?

Yet you have made him little lower than the angels;

with glory and honor you crowned him,

gave him power over the works of your hands;

and you put all things under his feet…”

2)Hear, O Isreal, the Lord our God,

the Lord is One.

Love the Lord your God

with all your heart,

with all your soul,

with all your mind,

and with all your strength.

This is the first and the

great commandment.

The second is like it:

Love your neighbor as yourself.

There is no commandment greater than these.

3) Every day we are reminded: all life depends on all life.

Everyday we forget: all life depends on all life.

Every day we learn: all life depends on all life.

4) Though we are many, we are one in creation, because we all share in the love of the Creator.

5) We have erred.

We have caused the extinction of species,

of cultures, of language, and

turned our backs to your Goodness

and each other.

In our darkness,

help us find courage

to grow in understanding

of ourselves, each other,

and our blessed Earth…

The service concluded with communion, which is where those wishing, went up to receive bread and wine.

As people streamed out of the prayer hall, we went into Father Joe’s office to chat with some parents and youth.  My kids were put in Rev. Cheryl’s office, next door. They sat on the couch, watching the movie Home Alone, munching on chips and dipping their fingers in glitter glue and swirling them on paper.  I am really grateful to Reverend Cheryl and the church administration for ensuring my children were entertained and safe so I could learn something about the people.

I had a lovely conversation with the parents and youth.  The youth expressed how it was difficult each day to spend time with God and pray daily.  They explained how they had busy lives outside of church, which is what made spirituality challenging.  When I asked what it meant to be a good Christian, they said the following: to be a nice person, to do things for the community, go more regularly to church, taking care of people outside of church too, following the 10 commandments, and following the messages/lessons from the Bible stories.

One of the parents expressed how at the time he felt like God’s greatest blessing to his family was a Muslim lady, who had accepted his son into her daycare after he got removed from his previous daycare.  The family would have had nowhere else to go,  if she hadn’t taken their son under her care.  He said, “Isn’t it so strange that God’s biggest blessing to me is a Muslim woman?”  Then he said, “God bless her.”  His words made me feel a sense of pride in my faith community.  Her actions must have meant a lot to this family in order for him to speak so highly of her.  I realized how we are so interconnected, and that we need each other’s support and kindness in order to keep our lives in order.

I listened to the parents talk, and it was amazing how many similarities all faith communities share.  They talked about the bitter rivalries some Christians have with Christians from other denominations.  One of them told of her wedding to her Catholic husband, and how her mother-in-law had threatened to boycott the event because her son was marrying an Anglican.  They also expressed their concerns about the youth, and how many are leaving religion all together because of such hostilities between denominations and also because the way many concepts are preached don’t resonate with the young.  These problems are not unique to the Christian community. Muslims also have more than our fair share of intra-religious conflicts and hostilities.  And right now we have droves of young Muslim kids who feel no connection to their community and faith because of the failure of the clergy and scholars to change their teaching methods to adapt to a rapidly changing world.

The parents also expressed how although church sermons rarely bring up the topic of sex, sexuality and gender dynamics, they as parents discuss these issues with their children.  And when I come to think of it, I have never heard of any mosque sermons targeted towards the youth with difficult topics such as sex.  I only hope that the Muslim parents are being open enough with their children to have these difficult but necessary conversations.

As our discussion came to a close, everyone expressed their wish to reciprocate my gesture of visiting a church.  They talked about how it was important for the youth to go visit, and learn about other faiths, because they went to school with friends who represented many faiths.

As I gathered my children, one of whom refused to put back the wooden train from the church, I remembered the one line of the prayer said at the service: All life depends on all life.  Truly we do forget and yet are reminded daily that all life depends on all life.

We are all connected.  We are here to remember God by realizing our utter dependence on His mercy; for we cannot even complete a single breath without His command. We are here to be kind to each other because we all depend on God and we all depend on each other to live our lives.  This is the test of life.  I certainly hope and pray we all pass this test.

I’m DONE with hate!

Hate is darkness that strikes the heart.  It takes out the light from our souls, pushing it out, invading all corners of our being.  The times I’ve come across it, it’s left me scared, bewildered, and lost.

I remember back in high school, how a friendly unknown girl came up to me during my lunch break, and asked me if I was Muslim.  “Yes,” I responded.   “Cool!” Her eyes lit up and her smile widened. “I’m Jewish! No Pork!”  She gave me a thumbs up as she said “no pork.” She brought up “no pork” because Muslims and Jews share the same dietary restriction of abstaining from pork.  But then she posed an odd question.  “Do you hate me?” She had grown serious suddenly.  I was so taken off guard, so taken aback by her question, that for a few seconds I simply stood there at a loss for words.  “No,” I finally managed to say.  My heart pounded in my chest.  I didn’t understand why she would ask something like that.  Why would I hate her for being Jewish? Then I got my answer.  “Oh okay,” she explained, her smile peeking through her words, “because I once told this Muslim girl ‘I’m Jewish,’ and she told me that she hated me.”  “No, I don’t hate you,” I repeated.

The experience left me a little shaken, and although it was not an actual incident of experiencing hate, I’ve carried it with me for over fifteen years. I was not raised with hate, and it greatly saddened me to realize that perhaps others were.

Similarly, I remember one day when one of my younger sisters went over to a school friend’s house, who happened to be Jewish.  When my sister returned home, she told me how her friend had said, “You know we’re supposed to hate you?”  Her friend meant that Jewish people are required to hate Muslims.  And although she had not directly told my sister she hated her for being Muslim, my sister came home with the feeling and message that Jews hate Muslims.  Because we had no contact with anyone else Jewish, we carried this idea that we were looked on with hate by everyone from the Jewish community.

I find it interesting that it never occurred to me at that time, that perhaps I was as mistaken about Jews as that Jewish girl from my school was mistaken about Muslims.  She believed that all Muslims hated Jews and for a long time I believed that all Jews hated Muslims.  And while we stereotyped each other’s faith communities, it didn’t occur to anyone, that we were all human, created by the same Loving God.

It took me so long to realize that people are people, regardless of what label we slap on ourselves and others.  It took me so long to see that it is our ego that desires to separate ourselves from others.  We don’t want to think of others as the same as us, because then we would be obliged to treat others with the same dignity, respect, and compassion we expect for ourselves.

And what does this unconditional dignity, respect, and compassion looks like?

It is the most beautiful, magnificent, illuminating experience to be touched by human compassion.  It is the grocery clerk, who ran outside and grabbed a cart for me without me even asking, after he saw me heavily pregnant, struggling to carry multiple bags of milk through the aisles.

It is the God-loving people such as Rabbi Tamar, Reverend Cheryl, and Imam Jamal, who touched my life in beautiful ways, and whose light is much brighter than the darkness of all hate.  Rabbi Tamar had enough courage inside her to use her blog to urge everyone to view Muslims and Islam objectively.  Reverend Cheryl offered me, a Muslim woman, free childcare for my children at her church, so that I could widen the scope of my blog.  Imam Jamal, instead of leading a mosque, works at an interfaith sanctuary, in order to build bridges and understanding between faith communities.  All of these individuals are brimming with compassion. They reach out to others, despite the apparent differences, just to let them know: I care.

There are countless small, yet significant acts of kindness we all encounter on a daily basis.  So the question is, what logic is there behind reserving kindness and compassion for a select group of people?   There IS no logic.  There IS no solid foundation upon which to prop up our various hatreds.

Therefore, I am done with hate.  I’ve had enough of fear. I choose to live.  I choose to love God.  I choose to love humanity.

 

Islam: transforming your ego

Ever since I began my blog, I wondered which imam to contact for an interview.  I considered going to a local mosque to get some answers about the essence of Islam.  But each time I decided upon a mosque or an imam, something just wouldn’t fit.  I realized that I couldn’t just interview any imam.  Since my blog is trying to build bridges and keep doors open for anyone to come and explore God through different faith communities, I had to find someone who embodied the universal/Islamic values of inclusivity and unconditional compassion.

It was not that the imams in the area were not nice, it’s just that as a woman, I felt a little uncomfortable approaching them.  Mosques aren’t exactly the most woman friendly places at the moment. So I asked God to help me find the perfect imam for my blog interview.  After many days of wondering whom I could interview, God blessed me with clarity.  Of course!  How could I not have thought of this before?  I would interview Imam Jamal Rahman of the Interfaith Amigos.  I had seen him speak on youtube videos during his Tedx presentations with Rabbi Ted Falcon and Pastor Don Mackenzie. You should check out this video if you haven’t already:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=soC_MSUo5Qo

For a few moments, I stalled: what if he’s too busy to answer my email?  He has exposure in the media, so what if he doesn’t want to talk to a ‘nobody’ like me? But I decided to take my chances.  There was no way of knowing whether or not he would speak with me unless I asked him first.  I was thrilled when he responded with an enthusiastic yes.

As soon as I heard his voice, I knew he was exactly the same person he appeared to be in his public presentations.  He was calm, kind, funny, and most importantly, approachable and easy to talk to.  I had the most interesting conversation with him.

I expressed how at times I felt overwhelmed by what I was doing, wondering whether I was even qualified to do this kind of work.  His answer made my heart smile. He explained that in Islam we don’t have ordained priesthood, and no religious hierarchy. It is as the Prophet pbuh said: you are your own priest. The Prophet pbuh also said, “consult your heart.”

How does Islam/Quran define or explain God?

Allah is the most mentioned word in the Quran, and from my perspective, one thing that stands out is that the Quran says that God is an absolute mystery. A verse in the Quran says if all the trees in the universe became pens and all the oceans became ink and you tried to write the mysteries of God, still you would not come close to describing a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the mysteries of God.  We can never really get to know God directly. That is why we have the 99 divine names. I like how the Prophet (pbuh) said: Oh God! We have not yet known you as we should have. So even as a prophet he could not have known the fullness of God. In the Quran, God is a boundless ocean of infinite compassion and mercy. Virtually all chapters start with “bismillah.” Also, God is both “zahir” and “batin,” so outside of you and inside of you. There is this beautiful hadtih qudsi, where God says: I cannot be contained in the space of the earth or heavens, but I can be contained in the heart of my loving servant. There’s another wonderful Quranic verse: Everywhere you turn is the face of Allah. So God is inside of you, outside of you, formless, genderless.

What is the essence or goal of Islam?

The goal is Islam itself; which means to surrender in peace to God. But question is, what are you surrendering?  We surrender our attachment to the ego, which is called “nafs” in Quran.  If you really want to surrender, you have to go through the process of transforming your nafs. The purpose is as the Quran says: when you surrender your nafs to Allah, then you have the capacity to turn the heart in devotion to Allah.  Islam is about evolving into fullness of one’s being so one is worthy of what Quran says: becoming Allah’s vicegerent on Earth. But it’s important to know that we shall never understand surrender unless life circumstances force us. In islamic spirituality it is said there are 2 veils standing in the way of surrender: health and wealth. When my health is good or I have wealth, and not just money, but emotional security, all this talk about surrender, praying, fasting is not only irrelevant, it is also inconvenient. but should one of the veils shatter, I ask deeper questions. But what islam is waiting for is “I need help.” But I need help from a source higher than human personality and greater than human institution.

How does the Quran/Islam view non-Muslims?

The Quran is very clear that God has deliberately created people of different faiths as part of divine diversity, part of a divine plan. One verse says if Allah wanted Allah could have made all of us one single community. But he chose diversity, not only in languages, nations, or tribes, but especially religious diversity for 2 main reasons: so that we may compete with one another in doing righteous deeds, and to get to know the other on a human level. So these are the 2 main reasons, and the reason it’s so clear is because there are other key verses such as: let there be no compulsion in religion, and other such as if even if you find others’ religion aversive to yours: to you your religion to me my way.  To me its 100% clear,  it’s about honoring God’s diversity and not only with people of the book, the Christians and Jews . They were mentioned specifically because they were existing in the 7th century Arabian peninsula. Unfortunately, due to fundamentalism and fight over economics and politics , the problem is even greater in intra-faith. You have  sunni versis shia, shia versus sunni and other infighting. This really points to tribalism and conditionings. And what do we do about evangelism? Both Islam and Christianity particularly focus a lot on converting. In my personal opinion, the focus should be more on becoming a better human being rather than “come to my religion.” Even if you read the Quran, the best way is to live the life of a good Muslim and it is through your example that they will want to know more and that will fulfill the path of what is known as “dawaah” (inviting others to Islam). This idea of focusing on conversion takes us away from the essence of Islam, which is to live it and to practice it.

What are some major misconceptions non-Muslims have about Islam/Muslims?

In a general way people begin to judge the religion of Islam just from the behavior of some people: from suicide bombings, burning of churches, even the killings between Shias and Sunnis. But we can’t judge a religion from the behavior of some people. If we do that then every religion is in trouble. This fighting and killing is being fought in the name of religion, but religion is being used as a disguise for a different agenda.  The agenda is conflict over politics and economics.  On another general level most people think Islam is predominantly in Arab countries. But if you look population wise, Islam is really an Asian religion because 60% of Muslims live in South Asia and Southeat Asia, and Arab countries don’t make up more than 16%.  Islam is spread all over the world but it’s predominantly an Asian religion.

For specifics, many people ask about jihad.  If you want to put this into perspective, out of over 6000 Quranic verses, only 129 maximum are about fighting. Yes jihad does include fighting but it’s a defensive fighting. But the bulk of jihad is about making the effort for a spiritual transformation.

The second number of questions is about the status of women, and particularly the verse with the root word “darraba” and of course it gets into the status of women.  I want to say that the irony is that the Quran in the 7th century, which was unthinkable,  gave women inheritance rights, divorce rights, and property rights. So what happened? And the answer is, and most scholars agree, that the rights were so radical, so revolutionary, and the tribal men of 7th century Arabia were so used to treating women like chattle, like property, that they went along as long as the Prophet pbuh was alive.  But moment he died and Islam spread to feudal societies, all those verses in favor of women, their interpretations were slowly changed to be in favor of men. For example “darraba” is translated by most men as beating women, whereas all women translate it as “turn away from” or “consensual intimate relationships” and even other meanings. There is another verse that says you need two women witnesses for one man, but women explain it differently: its for the 7th century time because the men used to bully the women so much, and so the other woman was just there to remind woman not to be bullied and remember the original terms of contract for which she is called to testify. It is not that the worth of a woman’s testimony is less. The worst misuse of the Quran in terms of women’s rights is of the verse that demands those who accuse women of adultery to produce four direct witnesses who saw the actual act of sexual penetration.  This was to protect women’s dignity, because it’s almost impossible to find such witnesses, and it angered the men. So overtime, if a woman reported rape, it was used to ask her to provide four direct witnesses to the rape, which is impossible. This led to the man going free, and worse, if she got pregnant, she could be accused of fornication.  But there is hope. There is an undercurrent of women’s empowerment through education.

The third misconception about Islam is that it’s so rigid and so severe there is no spirituality in Islam. Nothing could be further from the truth. The heart of islam is so exquisite; it’s a wellspring of spirituality. People who have wanted to become Muslims, they have mostly been attracted by the spirituality, which is why Islam is fastest growing religion, especially in America.

Are you happy with how the interfaith dialogue has been so far? How could it be improved?

I’m happy that ever since 9/11, every single mosque has program has an outreach program. But it doesn’t go beyond barbecues and get togethers.  You need to go through several stages of interfaith dialogue to make real shifts in people’s perceptions and make a difference in world issues.

I find if I’m open to the beauty and wisdom of other traditions, it makes me a better Muslim. It waters my Islamic roots more completely; it makes me understand my Quran more fully. That’s why we say interfaith is not about conversion, its about completion. It’s about becoming a more complete human being. So we begin to understand God’s plan for diversity.

But the main thing about interfaith isn’t just about hospitality, which is important, but it’s really a question of our survival.  Our global issues are so enormous, such as climate change and social issues, that we have no choice but to cooperate and collaborate.

We kept talking, moving on to other topics.  The whole time I couldn’t believe I was hearing about beautiful aspects of my faith that I had never really heard before; at least not like this.  I have been raised in a Muslim family that has been practicing for generations. I have lived the first thirteen years of my life in Pakistan, which is a predominantly Muslim country, and been to a few Islamic conventions.  But never before have I heard anyone talk about Islam in this way.  It is soothing, magnificent.  But most importantly, it is intuitive.  Everything the imam said, my heart quivered in agreement.

Every time I spoke to someone, whether it was the rabbi, the reverend, or the imam, my spirit transformed a little.  I feel like I am getting to understand God more fully.  And yet, at he same time, I feel like I have just begun.  I need to go out and talk to more people about God so that my connection to God becomes stronger and wider. I only pray that before I move on to the next stage through death, God blesses me with a full spiritual transformation of my ego, filling my whole being with the Divine light.

 

Love thy neighbour: Christianity 101

It was a chilly March Wednesday, as I ran across the parking lot at Sheridan College, my hands tightly gripping my toddler’s stroller handles.  He screamed and laughed with joy, as I bolted towards the main entrance, desperate to get away from the frigid cold air.  Walking in, I felt the immediate comfort of the warm air enveloping my whole body.

I looked at my cell phone and realized that there were still 20 minutes till my meeting with Reverend Cheryl Gaver.

I plopped on an orange leather couch against a window and unbuckled my restless son from his stroller.  After a few minutes, I realized that I would need a good distraction to keep him occupied while I spoke with the reverend.  Quickly strapping him back in the stroller, I went down to the cafeteria, and purchased a bag of Cheetos for him.  The little guy was too excited and I caved in, opening the bag. I sat back and watched the area around his lips turn orange.

Once the clock read 11 am, my eyes swept the busy lobby, looking to see if I could spot the reverend.  It was a pleasure to finally meet her in person.  There was something about her that made me feel at ease from the very beginning.  Kindness and openness radiated from her very being, and that was all I had prayed for when confirming the interview.  When we’re around kind and loving people, God has a way of transferring some of their goodness on to us.

Once we settled into the quiet staff lounge, and my restless toddler had a few toys to play with, I commenced the interview.

How does Christianity define or explain God?

We tend to see a gap between us and God. So any words we have to describe God fall short.  So we’ll say He’s almighty, All Knowing, or All Merciful. But we know He’s more than that because there’s limitations to our language and to our ability to understand. So we’ll have ways of describing what God is and what He’s not.  But no matter how hard we try to reach God, we can’t on our own. So what God does is He comes to us and He’ll reach us and He shows us ways to connect with him through scripture, worship, prayer, all that stuff.  But on our own, we can’t do it. He meets us.  Fackenheim says, “God breaks into history.” For the three faiths, He’s very much a God who is involved in the world.  As Christians we believe we have His spirit within us and that’s how He guides us.

What is the essence or goal of Christianity?

That is a little harder because we start having divisions in Christianity.  You will have differences come up between the fundamentalists and the moderates.  As Christians, it’s developing a personal relationship with God and with others.  So everything is about relationships.  If you’re more on the fundamentalist side, relationship with God is important, but it will be through scripture and teachings, so a lot of emphasis on the legal side.  If you’re more on the moderate side, the relationship is through the context of prayer or spiritual guidance; there is more willingness to adapt to situations.  Conversion is more important in the fundamentalist side, and not as important on the moderate side.  In part, because we’re more accepting of how often we’ve messed up. So there’s a bit more humility due to the Crusades, Spanish inquisition, Canadian residential schools, and the Holocaust.  The Holocaust is very big, especially in liberal Christianity: we’ve had 2000 years of teaching; look what happened. Where did we go wrong? So we accept our own humility.

How does Christianity/Bible view non christians?

Again on the fundamentalist side is Matthew 28, 14: to baptize and make disciples of all nations.  That is very important. The feeling that we have to spread the story. For liberals/moderates, it becomes a way of sharing the story.  We don’t try to convert as much as share.  It’s much more: let our lives be the witness, so people are interested. You have other passages that say, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life and no one comes to the Father but by me.”  So to fundamentalists it means you have to be Christian or you go to hell. Some Christians focus on the part “no one comes to the Father but by Jesus” – and emphasize that Christianity offers a Father-child relationship with God but other religions offer other types of relationships. That’s sort of where I stand, that we won’t see God the same way.

Other passages are found in the Bible where Jesus says there are sheep not of this pasture, which could mean, “Yes,there are followers who are not of the Christian covenant and there’s room in God’s house.” So there is a recognition that some non-Christians are so holy – God has to be working in them, and then we’re left with: this is our experience, so how do we remain true to our faith and acknowledge this? That’s where moderate Christianity is struggling today. But that’s sort of the trends: recognizing there is truth out there and there’s truth in many religions.

What do you feel are some major misconceptions non-Christians have about Christianity or Christians?

One of the big things is that Christians turn man into God. That’s not true. It’s always that it begins with God to reach us in a more direct way. It’s God in human form. Another one is that Christianity requires blind faith. It’s not, but often even Christians think you should believe without questioning. Questioning is so important because it’s through questions that you learn. Another one is that we worship 3 gods instead of one. There’s only 1 God in 3 forms, whatever that means. Some people think we’re all about beliefs and not about actions. That you could go to confession, be absolved, and go back Monday and steal. That’s not what Christianity teaches. It does say that you can be the worst person and if just before dying you suddenly realize how awful you were and are sincerely repentant, then you are forgiven. It doesn’t mean that you now are free to go out and do it again. But there is the recognition that sometimes change comes gradual, but who knows? Who can read anyone’s hearts? So we have to leave it to God. Most people don’t live their Christianity every day, that’s the problem.  Our society is so hectic, it makes it easy not to practice and forget.

Are you happy with how the interfaith dialogue has been so far? In what way do you think interfaith dialogue could be improved?

I’m not involved in interfaith dialogue anymore.  When I was at the University of Toronto, I was but at that time it was strictly Jewish- Christian dialogue.  And I was involved because of the Holocaust.  Because the churches had been actively teaching “Jews killed Jesus”; many still may.   And it wasn’t the Jews, it was the Romans. You can trace the line to Hitler from Christian teachings, and it’s misrepresenting Christianity.  So we have an obligation to fix it. Since then, Jewish-Christian dialogue has expanded to include Islam and other faiths. In newer or small groups, I think a lot of meetings are limited to clergy.  Maybe that’s because they’re just starting, I don’t know. Where I live, you don’t hear much about meetings, but there are interfaith events.  You also find events at university campuses. But in terms of how widely they are advertised, I’m not sure. I think there should be more done. At the campus, there’s a lot of openness to dialogue, not conversion. The big question is: how do you reach the ones who aren’t interested, because they’re the ones who need it, and that’s part of the challenge.

As my questions came to a close, we kept talking.  I asked her for some suggestions on how to expand the reach of my blog.  We talked about mystics and the similarity of their experiences regardless of the faith they identified with.  It was a really enlightening experience, as no Christian had ever before talked so openly about their faith with me.  I was grateful to God for leading me to Reverend Cheryl Gaver so I could learn some basics of Christianity.

 

Tikkun Olam: Interview with Rabbi Tamar Grimm

 

I paced around, then paused to look at the clock.  It read 1:35pm.  “Only 25 minutes to go,” I said to myself.  I decided to calm my nerves by calling on God using the prayer/meditation beads.  I called on Him by His various names in Arabic, such as The Light (An-Noor), The Bestower of peace (As-Salaam), and The Guide (Al-Haadi).  As peace permeated my senses, my eyes turned to the clock that now read 1:57pm.  I quickly put away the beads, grabbed my cell phone, and texted Rabbi Tamar Grimm to let her know I was about to call her.  A few crazy thoughts passed through my mind: what if she changed her mind about speaking with me? What if she doesn’t pick up? What if there’s an emergency at my kids’ preschool while I’m in conversation with the Rabbi?

Thankfully, I didn’t dwell too long on my fears.  Both nervous and excited, I went ahead and dialed her number.  After a few rings, I heard a friendly “Hello.”   I expected to begin with a formal greeting and then dive straight into the questions.  But what I actually got was an extraordinary experience engaging with the rabbi.

I felt very comfortable from the beginning.  Rabbi Tamar Grimm told me about her car troubles that day, and  we exchanged remarks about the extreme cold weather (she’s located outside of Chicago and I’m near Toronto).  Then she asked me about how I got involved in the interfaith movement.  For a good five to ten minutes, I talked about myself, sharing my insights into faith and spirituality.  I told her how I realized that in the end, we all believe in basically the same fundamentals, such as One God and living a moral life.

Rabbi Tamar Grimm was very gracious in her responses, telling me how at one of the interfaith events  in her town, she was surprised when the imam working with her quoted the Quran on the taking of a single innocent life being equivalent to killing all of humanity.  She was astonished because Jews have the exact same principle in their faith.  She went on to say that any killing or hurting done by anyone in the name of religion was not really because of religion, but because of the greed for power and money, but the perpetrators would never admit to that fact of course.

It really felt like we were old friends.  We were open and honest with each other throughout our conversation.

Me: How does Judaism explain or define God?

Rabbi: There are actually many interpretations within Judaism of God.  But basically Judaism looks at God as One.  And not just that God is One, but that He is indivisible.  God cannot be compartmentalized. 

Me: What is the essence or the ultimate goal of Judaism?

Rabbi: It is to heal the world.  To make it a better place.  We use the phrase “Tikkun Olam” which means to repair the world.  It’s a major idea in Judaism that we should try to fix the world because the world is broken.  I think a person could do this without religion, but the idea is that the Jewish traditions are supposed to train us, get us in the habit of doing acts of kindness and charity.  So by following the religion, it becomes natural to look at the world that way and interact with the world that way.

Me: How does Judaism/Torah view non-Jews?

Rabbi: There are many kinds of non-Jews according to Judaism and according to the Torah.  The Torah and the religion view people on who they are, but mostly on what they do.  There are non-Jews who are considered righteous, and they’re considered righteous, because they’re righteous! If they’re acting in good ways, if they’re doing good things; treating people fairly and kindly then they’re considered righteous.  But if they’re not (righteous) then they’re not (righteous). There are even special roles or status for people who attach themselves to the Jewish community, but may not be Jewish.  There are some negative ideas about idol worshippers, which don’t really exist anymore but at one time they did. And that was considered as doing something evil, or doing something wrong.

4) What do you feel are some major misconceptions non-Jews have about Judaism or Jewish people?

Rabbi: You know, there are a lot of stereotypes.  At our last interfaith dialogue that we held, this was the topic.  I presented three misconceptions there.  The first one was that sometimes people will say that Jews are obsessed with money, or they’re greedy, or they’re rich.  It’s not true: there are poor Jews, there are rich Jews.  They’re just like any other population.  There are plenty of Jews who are poor, just like any community. 

The second one is that Jews control the media, Hollywood, and they wanna take over the world – sort of a conspiracy theory kind of thing.  I don’t know where this thing came from.  There certainly are Jews in Hollywood, but there are way more non-Jews in Hollywood; more Christians in Hollywood.  But there are actors and actresses who are Jewish in Hollywood…so what? There are African American actors. Whenever there’s a minority group that is prospering I think, they get stereotyped as having some kind of secret power.

The third one is I think there’s this idea that Jews view themselves as God’s chosen people, that they’re better than everyone else.  And it’s funny because more often than not I get Christians coming up to me and say “But you’re the chosen people.”  I don’t think we view ourselves that way at all. There are a couple of lines in the Torah that talk about Israelites, which would include all of us descended from them, as being a holy nation, a kingdom of priests. And theres a connotation of chosen-ness in some of those verses, but we don’t see ourselves as better than anybody else.  If anything, it’s like “Thanks, you’ve chosen us for all this history of discrimination.” We’ve been through so much. We don’t think we’re special. We choose to follow the Torah, but it’s not something that confers anything special on to us. It does give us special responsibility to carry the laws in the Torah. If anything, it’s more of a burden.

5) Are you happy with how the interfaith dialogue has been so far? In what way do you think interfaith dialogue could be improved?

Rabbi: I’ve been involved in a lot of different initiatives.  I think there’s a lot going on.  There could always be more.  What has been nice for what I’m involved with in my community, is that people can come, who feel like they have really little knowledge and they can just listen and hear and learn about other religions without feeling like they have to represent to anyone else. There’s an imam, a priest, and myself giving presentations.  The audience can ask questions. We don’t just let people stand up and ask questions, they have to write it down. It’s really structured to prevent too much discomfort. We feel like three of us being clergy, could represent our religions, and people would feel comfortable.  Before in Boston,  we had  a women’s group for Jewish and Muslim women, where we would get  together at people’s houses and we would watch a movie and have different events promoting dialogue. That was beautiful and wonderful, but it was a totally different thing. 

Even after going through the interview questions, we kept talking.  It was wonderful to connect to a woman rabbi, and I expressed my hopes for some day talking to a woman imam.  I felt a little saddened by the fact that the Muslim community was still behind on officially accepting women as imams.  But I do have hope that as our identity evolves, we can hold on to our core values and beliefs and still be inclusive.

There is a lot to learn about Judaism, and by no means is this interview meant to encapsulate the entire Jewish faith or experience.  This was just a basic attempt to let go of fear and embrace love, compassion, and understanding towards our Jewish siblings.